I went with my father to the doctor a few weeks ago. In discussing the appointment with my father later that day, I was struck by how differently we each interpreted what the doctor said. What I heard the doctor say and what my father heard were very different.

It happens all the time. I think I’m being really clear in my communication with you, but you don’t get the message. I tell you that there is a good chance of one thing happening, but because you want the opposite, you hear the words ‘good chance’ as ‘moderate chance.’

Effective communication is challenging at best. I’ve facilitated communication exercises in workshops where one person observes two other people in a discussion. When the exercise is debriefed, all three people ‘heard’ slightly different messages. Of course, they all heard the same sounds and saw the same body language. But, when those sounds and sights were interpreted, prioritized, filtered, and otherwise processed in their respective brains, the three people walked away with three unique meanings.

How can you minimize miscommunication? The first step may be to learn and practice active listening. For more information on active listening, read my article. When it’s important that the message you are trying to convey is interpreted as you intend, what do you do?